The Post I didn’t want to post.

I wanted to write post to update everyone on how I was doing. I had a few posts that I were working on this week and last week to post, but I felt that this was very important.img_1695

This year was a pretty decent and successful year for me. I saw myself leave a job and find some success in other avenues, then finding a better position somewhere else. My relationship with Lionel grew into something stronger than I had ever expected. He provided me with stability and security. More security than I have ever known in my life. Then I saw myself become accustomed to life with flexibility.

The balance of life remains true. There will be great times and not so great times. So when you are at your happiest, you will learn very fast that something bad will usually come around.

The tragic events in Orlando sent me into a spiraling depression. Like so many Human Beings around the world, I mourned the loss of lives tragically murdered at Pulse night club.

When I woke up on June 12th , I saw the alert from CNN on my phone. I was in a state of shock and disbelief for most of the day. The news put my heart in a deep sadden state. The next few weeks saw me into a deep silence. I didn’t want to speak unless someone had spoken to me. I didn’t want to go out anywhere that there would be a crowd. I stayed away from New York City Pride.. The events put so much fear into me that didn’t want to leave my house or go to work.13726835_10154129121872529_7706247284739654552_n

As I’ve written before, I quickly realized that there were no more safe places

A week ago, our country witnessed violence so cruel and so horrifying that it comes with a disclaimer on CNN. The shootings of Alton Sterling and Philando Castle have cut an nerve-ending cord in this country. The black community is tired. They are tired of being cast aside and they are tired of being hung on the noose that is wrapped around the tree standing in the front lawns of white Americans across the country.

We are tired of being a store, where white Americans window shop our culture, try on how clothes, buy our music and language and sell it as their own shit, Out lives aren’t appreciated and much as the sexual lusts of our bodies.

I am tired of the racial war that the government is trying to push our country into. The genocide that has been this trend of black lives taken has become overwhelmingly depressing..

Something has got to change.

I would Love to talk about how I really feel about #BLACKLIVESMATTER…. But I am not trying to offend people right now…. I will say #ALLBLACKLIVESMATTER not just the heterosexual men…

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