Maybe it’s me, but it seems that we have become accustomed to the same type of game and players. And maybe this is just my experience with men. So let me rant on a few things.
First, I don’t have a lot of gay friends. Most of my friends are heterosexual are in heterosexual relationships. Unfortunately, they do not understand that the dating game with gay men is a different ball game. There is barely any room for romance and getting to know each other. Thanks in large parts to hook up sites and apps; the game is mare about nude pictures and sexy chat exchanges. Intellectual conversations are now out of the question because the goal is to get laid. (MY EXPERIENCE. MAYBE NOT EVERYONE’S EXPERIENCE). Then there are all of these standards and demands. We have all seen them.
“No fats, no fems.”
“No sloppy people.”
“Be straight-acting” (UGH… THE IGNORANCE)
“No face pic, no chat” This is my favorite one because no one has a face picture anymore. Most of the time, the person asking for a picture, usually has a blank profile or a pic of their chest or ass.
BUT WAIT!!!!!!! THERE’S MORE.
There are a fair amount of picky men online who requires all that is mention above, but cannot host in their home or drive to your house. I’ve made a name for these men. They are called gay losers. (I know, I know… I’m so fucking creative!)
Believe it or not, but there are men in their Mid-30’s, still living at home with their families. They do not drive or pay rent and without real employment; but have the nerve to demand a perfect fuck buddy, who is not feminine, with muscles and a job. Unbelievable as it seems, but these guys are all over the internet.
I h ave a Jack’d profile. I pretty much browse and read profiles. I love to cut and copy the text to my heterosexual friends as the proof of how fucked up the mentality of the gay dating scene is. A few years ago, before I’d met my ex. I had long hair and at the time, there was no such thing as individuality. So other gay men were pretty ignorant and started calling me horrible names like, “Tranny,” “Fish,” “Chick with a Dick,” etc. After cutting my hair, the same men hit me up years later trying to get to know me. Obviously, I am not attracted to ignorance, so I’ve ignored those attempts.
After my ex and I broke up in January, I tried to re-enter the dating scene. It was hard, and I can admit that it wasn’t the best time. I had just been through the worst period of my life that had lasted for two years. None of this is Russell’s fault. Russell was a good person who I will always love and hold dear, but I lost a lot of who I am in the relationship with Russell because I wanted to make him happy. Coming out of a relationship, lost and not knowing who you are as a person was not the best idea in the world. Then trying to date with no self-confidence provided a major bullet to my already faded sense of self. I wasn’t ready to meet other people. I wasn’t ready to sleep with anyone. I WAS NOT ready to face rejection from empty people when I was empty and rejecting myself.
I took time off from dating; I’ve lost some weight and got my mind together. I still have my job and apartment. I am still in school. I have a lot going for me.
But if I had to go on Jack’d to look for a hookup, I would be waiting forever. To those people, I am still an ugly, fat tranny. That’s fine. I find nothing wrong with being transgendered or being fat.
Here is my frustration with some gay men; they can be the neediest, clingy, bitchiest things on the planet. They need so much attention and want to turn everything into a big deal. This neediness is one of the biggest reasons why Russell and I are not together. I hate to argue, and I hate to raise my voice. Too much energy goes into being mad and I have to keep my sanity.
About a year and a half into our relationship, we were planning on getting married. But I realized that I was not ready to be married to him or anyone else. I could not give him the attention he needed. I worked six days a week and went to school five days a week. I had absolutely no time always to be at his side. This is the same issue I am having with dating men, now. Whenever, I decide to go out meet a guy, the guy is always trying to make sure he “secures his spot.” I am usually upfront with what my life and schedule looks like. Work and school is more important to me. That’s just the way things are.
I recently got into a squabble with a guy who felt that I was being dishonest about being into him. He thought that, if I wanted to spend time with him, I would make time. He went on to tell me how other guys he’s dated would make him a priority. I offered to find those other guys for him.
MEN ARE NOT MY PRIORITY… I AM MY ONLY PRIORITY.
I HAVE A LIFE.
I WORK. I GO TO SCHOOL AND GRADUATE IN MAY (HOPEFULLY). I HAVE MY OWN PLACE, AND I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE FAMILY OR FRIENDS TO TAKE CARE OF ME.
I refuse to make a man my priority again, I have done that before, and it just doesn’t work for me.
Quiet as it’s been kept, (because I love my privacy). I have been seeing the same guy since the beginning of June; we have not made it official because he understands everything that I have been through, and he gets that I want to be alone. This guy is older (of course), and he happens to be white (duh)
I don’t get that same understanding with other guys. I have met men who have their lives and want to do what they want to do, but they refuse to understand that I have a life as well. I understand that some guys will stay bent over all night to keep a man, but I have a dildo and two working hands. I will not keep you around just so that you can do for me what I can do for myself a lot better and without a fucking headache.
So here are my demands for the next guy I date.
(If it doesn’t work out with the guy I see now.)
1. Be patient
2. Have a life and have something going for yourself.
3. I don’t respond to ignorance and stubbornness. I block it and you will never hear from me again.
4. Don’t a douche…
That’s all for now!