caitlyn, jayden and the state of judgement in the community… Part 1

Zofties

I didn’t say anything about any of this because I’ve been known to have weird views on certain issues. But today I was talking to a co-worker about this Caitlyn Jenner issue when she asked, “Are you seriously supporting this Bruce Jenner thing?” My response was,

“I am supporting Caitlyn Jenner.”

“Well, he still has a penis, so his name is Bruce.” I was disgusted. Caitlyn Jenner and Bruce Jenner are two different people now. Sure Caitlyn was always that fire that sparked inside of Bruce. But out of respect, call Caitlyn by her name.

“So are you okay with Jayden Smith wearing a dress?”

“Yes!” I said. “He can wear whatever the fuck he wants.”

“What real man wears a dress?”

“The kind of man who is comfortable with himself, and doesn’t feel as if he has anything to prove.” I said.

Gender Identity goes way beyond Caitlyn or Laverne Cox.  The way a person chooses to identify them has absolutely nothing to do with how anyone else decides to identify them. For this reason, we are to respect the choices of others and remain respectful. But calling Caitlyn by her former name, you are disrespecting her wishes and sending her a message that she doesn’t not exist. That she does not matter and that her life and wishes do not matter. (mom)

Here is the thing about telling someone they do not matter, this in internalized. If taken the wrong way, it can take an awful toll on a person. The best example of this is the newfound human rights movement #BlackLivesMatter.

Why is this a great example? Because I thought it would be great to point the finger at the group of people crying for acceptance, but are so quick to judge.  (Don’t worry; I will leave more room for the Christians later.)

After a string of unfair deaths in the black community, the hashtag Phenom that is #BlackLivesMatter was born and before we all had a chance to re-tweet, it was everywhere. Celebrities, newspapers, social media and the drug addict on the corner were quoting this hashtag.

The message was very clear, “Stop killing our people.” Understand that a LGBT person dies every day; whether it is by their own hands or someone else’s hands. It’s normal to complain that black people are always treated unfairly by their white counterparts, but when you’re gay, hate knows no color. Regardless of what race you are, when you are gay, you are hated by every race. In the black community, there is no place for the gay community because there is so much hate and judgement thanks to the Christian faith. A faith which was once used to co-signed slavery and spousal abuse.

But back to Jayden real quick.

Recently, I read a re-post of a blog telling Will Smith that he needed to keep a close eye on his son because he loves to wear dresses. I highly doubt that Will Smith is worried about his little money maker wearing a dress. I think that Will would rather see his son wearing a dress and freely expressing himself, rather than selling drugs, doing drugs, starting riots at sold out concert arenas because he’s broke and bored.  I think that if Will and Jada had to choose their poison, the dress would win. Jada made a statement on her Facebook about Willow cutting her hair.

Jada explained that. “I didn’t let Willow cut her hair; Willow cut her hair because it’s her hair.” She goes further to explain that “I don’t want her to think that I have control over her body. I gave birth to her and her body is not mine. She can do with it what she chooses.” A lot of parents don’t believe in letting go and letting your children freely express themselves.  (mom)

When Jayden decides that he wants to wear whatever the fuck he wants to wear, he is freely expressing the rights he was born with. He is well within the freedom that his parents have given him. Who are we to judge anyone else’s parenting? When some of you only by your kid’s one pair of sneakers for a whole school year.

I don’t jump on bandwagons that much. I treat them the same was I treat buses, if it’s too crowded, I wait for another. Like buses, a new bandwagon comes around every 30 minutes.

But yes, I agreed, It was time to stop killing our people. I also agreed that it was time to stop killing each other. I heard someone say “We kill each other, but it’s better than having a white man kill us.” *PAUSE*

I am not making this up…

Understand that this is the same logic, we have used to argue the usage of the N-word. Neither logic makes any sense. It is hard to turn a negative into a positive unless the positive outweighs the negative. Two negatives will never make a positive. All this to say, that Killing each other solves nothing and calling each other NIGGAS isn’t doing anything to empower our community either. But  #BlackLivesMatter? When? Do they matter more than LGBT lives?

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