I’ve deleted my social apps off my phone. Why? It has a lot to do with feelings, thoughts and distractions. I need to feel happy again. As much as I am used to denying that I’m anything less that “okay” this break is to ensure that I am okay. I told David last night that I’m am so used to saying that I’m okay over and over just to believe it. If i say “I’m okay” enough then it will process in my mind and I will be okay… That hasn’t been working lately.
I can blame my job, family, friends, daddy issues, abandonment, etc. But it’s none of that.. It starts with me. I should be okay with people leaving and I should be okay with getting my heartbroken. Even though these things seem to happen back to back without a real break for me, I should be able to manage it, but right now I can’t.
So for a while, this post will be my last until I check in next week.