So Far Way

I remember one night when I was lying beside Russell in bed and he was so unresponsive in so many ways.. Emotionally he was just a rock.
I couldn’t get through to him.
This song started playing in my headphones and I started crying, that’s when I knew my relationship was over.

You know, I promised myself that the next man that I ended up with would love me for who I am.. I can still remember the day Russell told me that he didn’t love me or accept me for who I am.. That could have broke me into pieces, but I knew that I am an amazing person. I will always be an amazing person. So it’s his lost.

At this time, I am interested in someone and I feel dumb for wanting him because he doesn’t even know that I am alive. Even though, I’m sure he knows I’m alive… He doesn’t know that I wish he knew that I wanted him as much as I do.. That I wish that he could want me the way I want him..,
This song made me think of him tonight.,, and it made me think of all the men who made sure that there was a “gay” distance between us..
A gay distance is a distance is gay men put between us to make sure that we do not fall in love with the person we are having sex with.
We don’t text them back until hours after they text us. We have sex with others trying to forget the person who actually think that we are worth living for. We don’t call them. We make ourselves appear too busy… Etc.., we forget love and settle for casual…

So for you and so many others….




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