Valentine’s Day!!!

Hey Zofties,

I’m not the type to buy into the Valentine’s Day thing, but this weekend was a full on surprise. I had a great time. I originally planned to share Saturday with someone, but they cancelled and that ended up not pissing me off. Actually, it gave me the courage to spend Saturday with someone else.

On Friday, my friend Keenan*, decided to come over. Keenan and I have been talking for a while, I tend to make friends pretty easily. With Keenan, it was easy because he’s  such an amazing person. A little background on Keenan, he is in his early 30’s. He lives in Brooklyn, devilish grin and he’s really smart. The one thing that attracted me to Keenan is the fact that he is very intelligent and he’s a gamer. I don’t play video games but I wish that I did.

Around the time Keenan came to Jersey, I was practically ready to pass out because I had been up and running all day.

He and I decided to grab a few bites at a diner in Journal Square. We talked. Around 4 am we headed back to my spot and had a few glasses of wine and finally retired. I must say that it felt good to not be alone. Around 8 am, Keenan and I awoke to get his car  which was still parked in the diner parking lot.We had a hard time finding parking the night prior. When we found parking an hour after picking his car up, we returned to my apartment for breakfast. Then, we crashed for another 3 hours. Twizzler (My cat… aka Sugarpie) slept in between Keenan and I. Finally, when we woke up. Keenan went home. It was pretty awesome to be with a friend Saturday.

I of course made sure I called my sister to wish her a happy birthday, My sister was born on Valentine’s Day of 1989. I’ve always found that interesting about he, because It really speaks to her character. Denisha is a really mellow and loving person. She has a weird sense of humor (I wonder where she gets that from) My sister is far more mature  and smarter than I am. I am very proud of my sister. She’s so brave. I don’t know anyone braver than her. She seriously has no fear and she continues to fight for her life and continues to be an awesome wife and mother.

Later on Saturday night. I ended up going to dinner with another friend and not coming in until 2 am. I came home to my baby waiting for me in my bed. Twizzler was sleep and purring happily. I crawled in bed beside him and drifted.

I received a text message from Christina early that morning with her telling me to refrain from relationships. I think she was judging when she found out I had gone out the night before., thinking that I was with a man… I hadn’t been with a guy. I was with a co-worker. Either way, it is my business if I had been. But I wasn’t. The reason I’m addressing this is because I want to make this very clear. After being in a “relationship” and coming out of it, I’m not ready to be with anyone. As much as I would love to be in love, I have to remember what being in love has done to me before, when I compromised too much of myself to ever care about how I felt. I never want to go through that again unless the guy is worth it.

Also, I will be screening guys.

Here is a list of things I need from a man before I decide to be with him.

1. Sensitivity– I need to know that you aren’t cold as ice. I need to know that you aren’t a complete asshole. That you care about others and that you are willing to give to others. This is very important.

2. Communication– My last relationship failed because it lacked communication. Too many lies, secrets, etc. I got tired of it, and I ended up purposely sabotaging it.

3. Like interests– this explains itself

4. Openly gay- I don’t care about discrete guys, but you friends and family must know. I am not hiding in the closet for anyone. I am used to being introduced to my lovers friends and family when we become serious. When this doesn’t happen, I’m already looking for a way out.

5. Sexual Chemistry– My friends already know what I mean by this… That’s all!

6. A man- I don’t like bitchy little girls. I don’t like men who bitch and moan about every little thing.. There is nothing wrong with venting. There is everything wrong with bitching about everything that you see is wrong with someone, something and how people choose to live when it is not up to your standard…Even if your standard is really low grade.

7. Secured– Insecurity sucks. There is nothing more pathetic than a man who is insecure… I’m leaving it there.

8.Trust- you shouldn’t be going through my stuff trying to catch my slipping. You set yourself up for your own heartbreak.. Even if it’s a lie.

9. Creativity– I am a creative person. Now more than ever, I am able to really be creative. Before, I couldn’t feel any creativity flowing and I ended up suffering from writers block. My posts here started to decrease and I had no one else to bounce ideas off of. If I can’t be creative and create with my mate, it’s not going to work out…

10, Honesty– Be honest about who you are. I want to know your age, your birthday, about your family, etc. I want to know the person I’m with. There is nothing more fatal than waking up next to a stranger or someone you thought that you knew. When that happens, the love you had for that person is a complete lie.

For now, that is it… I don’t think that I am asking for too much…

As we already know names with (*) included, were changed to protect the true identity of the actual person…. thanks..



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