I have made the unfortunate decision to leave school. I’m not just taking the semester off, but I am really leaving school for a while to get my head together. I had been attending New Jersey City University in Jersey City and its been a long, emotional ride.
The thought to leave school entered my mind after last weeks TaeKwonDo class. I stepped out of class to call Russell. I guess since it was the end of class my professor thought that I had left and started to tell the class about how fat I had gotten. He actually said that it looked like someone had poured a bucket of water all over me, that’s how much I was sweating..
I sat outside listening to them dog me and I cried. I felt so bad, I’ve never felt that kind of shame before.
We all know that Zoloft has the “weight gain effect” and on Zoloft you sweat a lot. This is the reason why everyone calls Zoloft “cocaine the depressed” Zoloft elevates your mood and it makes you sweat a lot… For some reason. I had left the school without even mentioning how badly I was hurt. I just went home. I was done with trying. I was done trying to succeed there. I had felt a year ago that NJCU wouldn’t be the place for me to succeed, but I continued to go because I didn’t want to quit. But last week was the last straw.
To make it worst, my classmates sent me a text telling me that the professor told the that I shouldn’t bother to show up… So, today… I didn’t . That may seem like I took the coward move and maybe I did.. But I was so done with life at that moment. Maybe my depression took its toll on me. But that more of a reason to just leave and get my mind back.