I’m still haven’t mastered the art of introducing my post.. I know, I know an awesome writer such as myself has not figured out how to introduce a blog..
Recently, I have been dealing with not being on Zoloft, so I’m not sure if I want to call this a Zoloft Diary. Even though I’m very certain that I will be back on Zoloft, but I’m taking a break to lose some much needed weight.
I gotta say this, because it’s true. Serotonin is the devil.. It seriously makes you hungry.
Today, I went to see my mom. She’s in Jersey visiting. I hadn’t really had the time to spend that much time with her. That makes me sad at times and there are times when I know that she understands I have a lot to do. My mom is leaving to go to Florida next week so it was really important to me to see her before she left. The truth is,I have no idea when I will be able to see her again, or if I will ever see her again. Same thing with the rest of my family.
My mom and sister have been trying to convince me to come to Florida for a while, but I refuse to give up my life for them again. I refuse to give them the power they had before. Without bringing up the past, I will just say that I’ve learned from my mistake and I’m okay in Jersey.
I miss my family everyday. I must admit that I am so lonely here. The world has never felt so cold and huge before. Before they left, my life practically revolved around them. I didn’t really care about having friends, because I had my family. When they left it was really hard to figure my life out. And God knows that is was hard, sure I had a life, but friends weren’t my priority because I didn’t have any friends. I had no one to talk to. No one really text my phone and no one cared to go out with me. Supposedly, I’m “socially awkward.”
I think about going to Florida all the time. But it’s not going to happen. I love my family, but I think I’m doing pretty good at finding my own way right now.
By the way, getting back to the Zozo, the dizziness and brain zaps are annoying. So I’m really trying not to take my Zozo right now but I know that tomorrow I’m going to give in.. Here’s why, running has become a task. Walking is weird and every moment makes me sea sick.. The headaches have gotten worst. So, I had a decision to make… Be fat and happy, or skinny and fucked up… As much as I would love to be skinny and fucked up, I may have to settle for being fat and happy… So, I’m going to take my Zozo and eat some ice cream…
Wait.. Real quick! I just gave Russell a tongue lashing for making a Janet Jackson reference…… We were watching Tamar & Vince and she was wearing the Rhythm Nation boots. Russell said, “I hate those boots!”
“I love them! They are very Rhythm Nation.” I said while writing this entry.
“That’s why I don’t like them. Her Rhythm Nation 1981 boots.” I looked at him. And said,
” get the fuck out of my bed!”
“What?” He said laughing.
“First of all, it’s 1819 bitch.. Not 1981. The album came out in 1989 and the album is Janet Jacksons’ Rhythm Nation 1819. Get it right bitch!”
“Wow” he said laughing. I turned to my right to calm myself down, and said to myself out loud.
“It’s okay, it’s okay Keith… He didn’t know.. He wasn’t ready!! It’s okay. Calm down.” While I’m talking to myself, Russell laughed…”it’s okay, he doesn’t know shit about music.” I continued. ” when you met him, he only listened to crappy gospel music.. And not good gospel music. Crappy backwoods-fuck-your-cousin at the alter-gospel music.”
I had to forgive him for a second as he reached for my Zoloft…
Zozo kisses… 💋💋💋
By the way, pray for Darell… Wellbs kisses👄👄 Paris!!!! I need you alive to see how your story ends in my book!