A few things today….
I am so stuffed from last night… and a little hung over… I am at work thinking about a few things.. I keep saying that I want my first published work, with my new look on the cover, but that may not happen until January or something. I’ve come up with a concept for the cover… It will NOT feature a picture of Zoloft…. As much as that would be acceptable, it would be plain and ordinary.. I’m never plain or ordinary… Russell said tat I need to find a way to get paid for blogging… and I’m like, ‘YEA, THATS WHAT I’M TRYING TO MAKE HAPPEN.”
The cover Art is being shot by a friend of mine. The fact that the book is finally done, excites me..
My “Sex And The City” fantasy is almost complete.. the only thing I need to accomplish is having a column and possibly working for VOGUE… which is one of my biggest dreams… Other than to just smell Anna Wintour… I bet she smells like Lily’s and Burberry… She wears Prada and Hermes.. Her Sunglasses are custom made by friends like Karl Laggerfield. Andre Leon Tally probably cleans up her poop with his Louis Vuitton towels. But enough with what actually happens at VOGUE…
Lets talk about my hair… I refuse to cut it because I’m growing it back out.. I told Darell that I would like to wake up one day and see the person I’ve been dreaming about when I look in the mirror. I’ve always told people, If I couldn’t transition into a female, I would stay a man with long hair…. (WAIT… WHAT?)
My whole entire life, I’ve always felt like something just didn’t fit.. Like i was born in the wrong body… I never felt like a boy, and I never wanted to be a girl.. I never wanted to conform to the gender roles which were unfairly assigned to me by society. I realized that having long hair and wearing make-up made me comfortable, but I would never want to wear a dress. I loved heels, but I would never wear them. I hated the fact that I could grow a beard… I loved having man-boobs with delicate nipples. I found myself trying to figure out what all of this meant…
Could I be this gender-queer that everyone was talking about. I obviously wasn’t Transgender… I loved my dick too much to cut it off and I never wanted a vagina. I don’t like the way they look… In my OCD mind, vagina are dirty.. (no offense to women) I find that weird seeing as though, I’ve had sex with a lot of women and I’ve loved every moment of it.. But after a while, vagina started to gross me out.
Am I Gender-Queer? A-gender… This is a form of self-identity where the person, feels as though they have no gender. Most people who are Gender-Queer, can bend to either side of the gender spectrum. Some men can either look masculine or feminine. This, applies to women as well. We use gender- neutral words and pronouns as well. If someone refered to me as a man, Sometimes, it freaks me out… However, if I’m referred to as a woman (sometimes gay men do that to each other) I am quick to say that I am not a girl… I am human, a person… So I guess I am Gender Queer. I can look either Masculine or Fem….