Today was an okay day!!! Let’s start with what happened yesterday!!!! Yesterday, I went to the Dentist… Okay, enough of that.. Let’s talk about today!!!
Today, I woke up not really feeling that well. I hadn’t had the time to go get my prescription for my Zoloft…. So, I’m feeling the withdrawal effects. Let me tell you, when these symptoms hit you, they hit hard! I’m not sure if any of you guys remember me talking about “brain zaps” and whether or not I knew if I were experiencing them…. Well, I’m getting them.. Let’s just say that they aren’t fun.. I will do my best to explain a brain zap…
Imagine that your brain had gotten an electrical zap from a wire for a few seconds and it made you dizzy! That’s practically what’s happening to me.. This started the other day, I had thought that I was just tired or something, so I thought nothing of it. Then yesterday, it had gotten bad. I was experiencing one about every ten seconds. The zaps had made me dizzy. The dizziness had given me nausea.. Nausea is what I have now. I feel like I’m moving all the time.. And the headaches are horrible as well…
Bad enough, I haven’t fully recovered from my concussion… Which brings me to my next issue.
So, the concussion might have cause more damage than we thought.. My memory is shot.. Today at work, I had asked Darryl so many questions that I had known (or had once known) the answers to. It seriously wasn’t until he would answer my question that I would remember what I was supposed to do. It’s a hard position to be in, because I hate feeling incompetent. I hate losing control, but this is something that I’ve lost some control over…
I felt weird today when Darryl sent me an email about a certain issue and I went to tell him that I had no idea we even provided the service.. Darryl informed me that we had gone over it in training.. So then, I searched for my training notes…. (After a year, I still have my notes) and it was totally there.. I felt so stupid. It’s really not like me to forget shit.. Not things like that.. He then shot me an email informing me that it was very importance of the information and how it affects my job..
I wanted to pull him aside and remind him about my brain injury and how it’s going to take time to heal… But I don’t like to show that time of vulnerability. I let it slide off my back and started taking notes of things that I had learn during the day.. Things that I (supposedly) already knew…so that I would be able to perform. Anyway, I’m not feeling well. I’m going to nap on the train to school