I just left work and I’m in the light rail headed to class.. I probably won’t finish this post until later tonight.. I’m trying to dish out at least three posts for tomorrow.. I’ve been deep in thought.
The hardest thing about being gay, isn’t the hate that you get from others. It’s the constant reminder that there are other men out there that you have yet to have sex with. Can I be honest for a minute? (Good, because I’m going to keep it very 100 right now…) I’m a huge flirt. I’m so much of a flirt that I flirt sometimes without knowing that I’m flirting… There is constant temptation to fuck someone else..
Russell and I talk about this all the time. He says that he’s happy with just me, but I’m a total different story. Sometimes, you don’t fulfilled in your relationship.. I can admit that I wanted more. But it wasn’t just that I needed more of a kindred spirit, I was bored with sex with Russell. Actually, I didn’t want to have sex with Russell at all. I didn’t feel anything or get anything out of it.. The whole time, I’d be thinking about doing something else. When we did have sex, I did it because he wanted to or because I got tired of being accused of cheating on him.. I had sex with him to shut him up. Sexually, I wanted more than what Russell could give me. I had to make up in my mind to look pass the sex and just accept him for everything else he could give me. Am I happy? I’m working on being happier, that’s a journey and a mindset. I know that happiness will take some time. We are still learning some things.
Let’s talk about sex.. (Oh yea! Today is that type of day!!!) The other day, Russell asked me “do you let everyone see how overt sexual you are?”
And I’m like… “Not always”
I am very sexual. I embrace sexuality because it’s apart of the human experience. Now, I was having a conversation with a friend who said, “I love having sex with you. You have a big dick and a juicy booty. I bet your boyfriend is enjoying that!” I laughed. When I have sex, I have fun. I’m all about pleasure and I don’t like small sessions.. My moans are exotic.
When I bottom (which I love and miss doing) I ride dick hard. And since I barely ever invite anyone inside of me, I’m always tight… I make dudes nut quick and I enjoy it. Every position is my favorite, but I love being on my stomach…
When I top. (Which I do a lot of) I’ve gotten used to guys raving about my sex game. I honestly think that the best tops have bottomed before. There’s a method to topping that not every “Top” gets. You seriously have to understand how to please your bottom.. I can honestly say that being a bottom has made me a better top. I know which buttons to push when I’m fucking my dude.. I know how to play with his body… I know how to let him take the lead at times when he really needs to get his rocks off.. I found that the best way to make your bottom bust a good one; is by having him ride you.. Russell calls this “chasing the sensation” When Russell rides me, he’s chasing the feeling of my dick rubbing his prostate… He goes wild and rides me harder… And I just hold on and “enjoy the ride”
I love it when Russell rides me backwards… (His back is turned towards me and my hands are guiding his hips) it’s an amazing feeling… I cum so freaking hard…
I’ve been known to have some kinks… We will talk about that in my next post… Until then..
Zozo kisses….. And Wellbs kisses..(cause Darell is on Wellbutrin)