If I could cry

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If I could cry

I would televise it

The backdrop LCD screen would
Show the world events
The war
The homeless
The lonely

If I could cry
It would show my story
Pictures of my exes
My past
I am not myself

 

 
I am justice.
I’m thinner with longer curly hair
A smaller nose
Straight, white teeth.

 

If I could cry
With make up and bright lights.
The only music you may hear are my sobs.
As my mascara and eyeliner bleeds off
You are reminded of my broken heart

 
You understand how hard I’ve tried to hide who I am from you
How much it hurts pretending
How much I wish I were someone else
I feel trapped in my body.

If I could cry
I’d tell you I’m sorry
I’d tell you to stay
I’d tell you that really suffering without you
I’d beg you to stay.

 
If I could cry.
I’d tell you I love you.

 

 
And I hate myself secretly..
And it’s so hard living as Keith

 
When it’s not who I am.
And the fact that I cringe at that name..
The thought of being that person scares me..

If I could cry.
I would kill me.

 

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