Sick of bullshit

Hey Zofties,

I think I said this before, but I never want the demand for fresh material to block my creativity. With that being said, the writers block that I have been experiencing has been due to the demands for production… So far, it’s been hard… Forget about my schedule, forget about my Zozo blockage… I have not felt like producing new material…

It’s not about me being lazy or having voices tell me that it’s not good enough, (because they tell me that all the time) but I haven’t been able to FEEL like writing… In December, my book is supposed to come out. However, I still have a lot of editing to do.. I have to finish booking the photographer so that I can shoot the cover. After that, I want to market and do a book tour providing that my reviews are worth the tour… I’m still trying to establish a publishing label. So at the end of my long and drawn out day…. I don’t feel like writing…

Most of the time, I don’t really feel like doing anything.. I think that’s what took me so long to write this blog.
This time it was more of the fact that I was out at dinner tonight!

That’s something I really want to talk about.. Relationships and how they change…
I’m at this place where I am literally tired of being treated a certain way by certain people. I think tonight, that frustration came out at dinner. I’m sure my friend felt that I didn’t want to be bothered tonight. I’m sure she felt it because I barely spoke to her.. I’m still waiting for something, not sure if it’s an apology or anything. But I’m exhausted with feeling disposable. I’m tired of feeling like I don’t matter to people. I’m sick of feeling like a fucking punching bag. And for years, that is all that I have ever felt like. A punching bag.. Something that she can punch when she needs to feel better. Someone who will never amount to anything that any of her other friends are… Which by the way, none of them really give a real fuck… I’m finally sick of it… The best thing about Zoloft is that it strips away all of your patience. It exposes the ugly truth about about your anger. I think that all of my bottled frustration has finally reached its boiling point…

Today! I guess I’m just “cranky.” Oh fucking well…..

J

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Darell Grant says:

    That shark pic is hilarious! U and perfect Christina? Me don’t understand, what happened?

    Like

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