Once, twice, three times a horny bastard!

For some reason, I’ve been so damn horny in Zoloft..
I haven’t got a clue as to why.. I’m not sure if this is a side effect or not, but it’s strange.. I know that a lot of people claim that meds usually take away their desire for sex. But recently, it’s all I think about. It’s so hard to focus at work when I’m constantly thinking about sex.. I’m going to try not to be so graphic here… But, my body needs to be fucked! Just a lot!!!!

For instance, today at work while my boss was leaning over me, I took in his scent and something in me was ready to attack him… Then I realized where I was. I had to calm down for a moment. Nothing made it easier as the day progressed. Sex was all that I was able to think about. I thought about who I wanted to have sex with. And how I wanted to have sex with them.. Where I wanted to have sex with them.. Etc… I seriously had nothing else on my mind today, but sex….

And diarrhea…
But let’s talk about my emotions.
Let’s start with my friend…. Ummmmm… Dave… Yea!!! Let’s start there. Dave and I are friends..(you know that already) and although Dave and I are just friends, I have found myself getting attached to him.
I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t feel completely fulfilled in my relationship or if it’s because I am truly starting to have feelings for him. However, the other day, Dave didn’t text or call me the other day.. I remember calling and texting him and not getting an answer. At first, I wrote it off. “He’s having trouble with his boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend. He will call or text me soon”. But then the day went by without a word from him..
I was headed home from work and I checked my messages and I realized that he didn’t even read any of the messages. (I have an iPhone) the message didn’t even say “Delivered” my first thought was …. “Oh my god!!!!!!He Blocked me”
My worries grew from, I hope he’s okay….. I hope he didn’t do anything stupid…. To insecure thoughts like.. “he blocked me… What did I do?”
Then the thoughts came. I’m not good enough.
I’m not thin enough
He thinks I’m ugly
I wish I were perfect
He likes model-looking guys, why would he want to be friends with me???
None of these thoughts were normal. And it goes without saying that I am not trying to date Dave, I’m certain that he doesn’t see me in that light. But that’s the power of my thoughts. I’m normal, my thoughts aren’t! There are times when it’s really hard to control these thoughts!
It wasn’t until later that night that I was able to relax…. Of course by that time I was sleeping….

I’ve only been on zoloft for a couple of weeks.. Zoloft hasn’t done that much to silence the thoughts yet.. (I will write more about the thoughts later)
I’m am keeping some type of positive tonight… For now, I’m getting ready to watch “Scandal” so. I will update tomorrow…

By the way, thanks for the love… If I’m helping anyone out there in anyway… Feel free to email me… Loves and Zozo kisses!

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