My pretty pills….. The beginning

The day that my doctor told me that he was prescribing me Zoloft, I wasn’t that excited! I have tried Celexa and Wellbutrin. Neither really did much for me.
When I was on Celexa, the drug numbed me completely. I felt absolutely nothing while I was on celexa. My emotions were stunted, my need for sex was non-existent. My creativity was gone… But I stayed on Celexa on and off for two years…

Wellbutrin was a different story. I felt everything, Wellbutrin is known as a weight loss success drug. My doctor prescribed me Wellbutrin to help me lose weight after gaining so much of it on Celexa.. He also tried to get me back in the mood for sex again.. I was a horny bastard and I wanted sex all the time. However, I was never in the mood to have sex with my boyfriend… So I never did… I held out… I had no connection to my boyfriend at all. It had gotten so bad that I thought about cheating on him everyday…

Then, life happened some more… As I grew increasingly unhappy and disturbed. While my sister was getting sicker and I started to hate my partner even more as the day passed… It was time to try another treatment..

My doctor told me that it was time to find a therapist and he would make sure that I would get the best meds.. And then he prescribed Zoloft.. I was hesitant. Zoloft had a bad reputation. I did not want to feel any of the side effects of Zoloft, especially the sexual side effects. However, my doctor told me that it was either medication or I would have to check myself into a hospital… That’s how far gone I was… three weeks later, I’m writing this blog!!!

The first time I had been threatened to be admitted into the hospital, I had just stopped talking to Tiger years ago. I was depressed and I couldn’t function at all. This time, my doctor told me that I would have to be out of work for about a week.. I didn’t want to miss work… My doctor sent the prescription to Walgreens and I went to go pick it up………

Then… I did more research on it… The Internet is a cruel place… The horror stories…. The success stories. The brain zaps… I wasn’t ready for any of that.. I wasn’t ready to give up wine or a good orgasm. So, I refused to take them for three days…. Until, one day, I was at rock bottom.. I was crying for no reason. I sat in the bathroom scrolling through my phone trying to find one success story with zoloft. But I couldn’t find one.. I couldn’t find not one person to say one real good thing about Zoloft… But I needed to get rid of the thoughts and the tears.. And I made up in my mind that I would do my best to be my own success story.. So, I finally opened the bottled and looked at the small purple pills…. I popped one in my mouth… Within an hour, I started to get sleepy and started yawning… I was done for the night….

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